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Pitchfork review of the new Mars Volta

Now, I'm a fan of the Mars Volta, and I haven't heard their new disc, so there's every chance in the world I'm not going to like it. And the whole Pitchfork thing's been beaten like a dead horse recently between the City Pages and the Strib. But please, if you will, pause for a moment and savor Stosuy's overarching metaphor of comparing the album to masturbation and then consider how it essentially turns the review into someone masturbating over his distaste for someone else's masturbating. Hell, at least the Mars Volta made an album.